The Wall

I’ve hit it. I knew it was coming and today I ran smack into it with my eyes wide open.

The Wall showed up at 49,975 words. My story is at its midpoint, so this novel has a long way to go. It feels a lot like when I ran a marathon in 2009 and crossed the 13.1 mark after two hours. Theoretically, I could’ve been done at 13.1. I’d already run a few half marathons so that felt like a natural stopping point. But, I’d signed up to do a full marathon, all 26.2 miles of it, and I was only halfway done.

There was the Wall.

It isn’t that I don’t know how the story will continue or even how it will end. It’s that I’m exhausted from juggling everything in the air and trying to write at the same time.

The momentum of writing three thousand words every night after the boys go to bed has waned. Now I want to lay in bed and watch reruns of Mad Men.

The thrill of getting in a few hundred words first thing in the morning has fizzled. Now I want scroll through Pinterest and think about Christmas.

The boys are tired of my absentmindedness too. Are you gonna do school work again tonight? How much longer until you’re done?

That’s a great question.  I’d like to be done right now, tonight, so I can turn my attention to the holidays and wrapping up the boys’ school assignments for the semester. Unfortunately, we’re behind and I’m in over my head.  I feel like the living example of “Women can have it all, just not at the same time.”

For today, I think I’ll lean up against the Wall and take a nap. I might write tonight, but I might not. There are nine days left in November and I’m determined to finish. If anything, I’m only 25 words from hitting 50,ooo. So in that regard, I’m all set.

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