The hot air balloon is deflating.

When my novel writing journey started in November, I was full of hot air. I was ALL IN for writing 50,000 words in a month and had an entire saga of plots in my head ready to pour out on the keyboard. Everything forward, remember? 

Now I’m tired. I’m at 90,000+ words and still have much farther to go. Clearly, I did not store enough fuel to get me to the finish line by tomorrow, which is when the novel is due for class. I’ve already received permission from my professor to turn in what I have, along with an outline for the conclusion. That’s fine. I can do that. Even though it’s not what I prefer.

Part of the problem is that I’m distracted by the holidays. Another part is that the boys and I have been playing catch-up with school. I’m also just plain tired. The story is much longer than I could’ve foreseen, which is good in the long run, but putting such pressure on myself to finish by December 13 has been unrealistic. It’s a personal failure, which haunts me every night while I’m waiting for the Ambien to kick in.

To think that I wouldn’t finish the rough draft by 2014 feels like an even bigger failure, so I’m wondering if a New Year’s Eve goal is more plausible. Minus the week when my family is in for Christmas, I should have plenty of time to write. I’d rather not have an unfinished novel sitting on my shoulders while enrolled in Short Story and Performance Writing next semester.

Plus, there are two books staring at me everyday day – my holiday reading reserve – begging for attention.

Holiday readingIn other news, the boys are itching for Christmas. I’m trying to slow things down, but the calendar keeps turning. At least we’re having wintery weather again. That weird week of Spring threw me off entirely.


3 Replies to “The hot air balloon is deflating.”

  1. A New Year’s goal sounds far more reasonable and it would be better to not have to worry about the book during Spring semester, particularly since you are taking writing courses. 90,000+ words is quite an accomplishment and you really should be proud of that. Keep up the hard work and know that the end is far closer than it was before. I do understand the frustration though. When I wrote The Feast of San Sebastian, I pumped out 60,000 words in seven days, while on a work trip. It was immensely exhausting, but I knew that if I didn’t finish it during that work trip it would take forever to write. I would have hated myself for a while if I hadn’t accomplished it, so I pushed myself to the brink to get it done. Its one of those crazy things we writers do. I am certainly proud of you and I’ve never even met you, but I know you will have a career, and potentially a very good career. You are a voice that needs to be heard.

    1. Thanks so much, Jonathan. I’m working on the outline for Vince right now. It’s painful. It feels incomplete, but there’s no way I could have finished by today. I’m trying to give myself some slack, but that’s very hard to do. I appreciate your encouragement. Immensely!

      1. I wasn’t ready to hand over Kings either, although it has an ending written, the book is very much rushed and incomplete. But I also feel a certain pressure lifted by having turned it in already, so now there is no one but myself pushing me to work on it. I am sure when you are done with it, that Vince would be willing to receive the written ending. In fact he might even be begging for it. I also hope you follow up with Leticia in six months, I’m telling you, you are destined for big things.

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