Nobody told me there’d be a test, but I suppose there has to be. How else will you find out if you are parenting correctly? It’s only 11:50 a.m. and I’ve already taken a handful of tests, failing two of them, I’m sure.
The only child who’s being perfectly fantastic today is the furry black one. I think the brass fixtures bring out the gold in Salem’s eyes, don’t you? I love that he doesn’t talk back or whine or argue. And when he gets sassy, I throw him outside.
Know this: I love my boys. I INSANELY ADORE THEM. They are EXACTLY what I wanted.
HOWEVER, if you see me running for the hills later this afternoon, you will know they’ve won. Send help.
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