We’ve rolled Advent into our homeschool schedule, which I did last year so it’s not particularly new information for the boys. I don’t remember how detailed our lesson got last year but I certainly don’t remember being so uncomfortable about it. On Friday I read aloud scripture from both Matthew and Luke and then read the nativity story from a children’s Bible storybook to pull it together in kid language. The boys listened intently, and per usual, Jeremy interrupted a few times for clarity.
On all three accounts I glazed over the word “virgin.” Something in my throat prevented me from saying it, and then my jaw clenched and I fumbled over the word. I just wasn’t ready to say it and then explain it, which is exactly what would’ve happened because Jeremy picks up on every detail.
I also had trouble reading the parts about Joseph wanting to divorce Mary quietly, because obviously he thought she had been unfaithful and I certainly didn’t want to explain THAT to my kids either.
This is a bit of a dilemma because Mary’s marital and virginity status is essential to the story. Her role as the mother of Jesus is so important, but so is her supernatural conception of the child. But do I really need to say “virgin” to my nine year old? And if so, how to I explain it without starting sex ed in third grade?
I welcome your input because I really am asking for help. I feel like they are missing a big piece of the cosmic puzzle by glazing over the incarnation, but something in my Mommy bones just can’t say the words. When we were talking about Mary giving birth in a stable, Jeremy gestured to his stomach and nether regions to clarify (as I knew he would), “So she, you know, pushed the baby out with animals all around?” My entire body cringed as my nine year old described childbirth.
This is what happens when your children are adopted and as a result they never see their mom pregnant!
I realize that this is what’s called “parenting out of fear” and that it’s not the best strategy. So, if you have kid language for explaining the virgin birth, please share it with me.
I didn’t realize your boys were adopted; how special is that!
As for the sticky issue, for years all I told my children was that Mary wasn’t married. So, people thought ill of her because she was having a baby and she wasn’t married. Then Joseph got upset because she was having a baby that wasn’t his. (Depending on the ages of your boys, they probably won’t go beyond that. It took my girls quite a while before they got there.)
Perhaps this will help? Best of luck; it can be a sticky situation!