Jack is still sick, so that meant Jeremy and I were the lone two getting ready for the day this morning. Taking full advantage of my undivided attention, he began:
Him: What if I frow up at school?
Me: You’re not going to throw up.
Him: But what if I do? What if I cough and get a fever?
Me: Then the school nurse will call me and we’ll come get you.
Him: But my eyes hurt. I fink I’m getting sick.
I feel his forehead, just in case… : No, I think you’re okay today.
Him: I fink I had a heart attack last night.
Me: Another one? Wow.
Him: If Jack is still sick then he needs to go back to the doctor for a shot.
Me: Maybe. We’ll see. Please eat your breakfast.
Him: Mom, I need to read you my book.
Me: You already read it to Dad and it’s packed in your bag. Please eat.
Him: Can I watch Star Wars before school?
Me: We don’t have time. Jeremy, please eat. We have to go in a few minutes.
Him: But Mom, I really fink I’m sick. Feel my forehead again.
Me: I already did. You’re okay today.
Him: I can’t burp.
Me: Keep trying.
Him: I have to fart.
Me: Okay.
(He lets one rip, followed by roaring laughter.)
Him: Did you HEAR THAT?
Me: Um, yes. What do you need to do?
Him: Excuse me. What if I have to do that at school?
Me: Then you excuse yourself to the bathroom and do it privately.
Him: But they’ll hear me.
Me: I doubt it.
Him: Mom?
Me: Yeah?
Him: Can you smell that?
– curtain –
I definitely fink I’m having a heart attack b/c of TOO MUCH LAUGHING!!!!!