According to Jeremy, he’s almost 10, because soon he’ll be seven, then eight and then nine…
“And after nine, I turn ten.”
“What happens when you turn ten?” I ask.
“Then I can do whatever I want.”
This was just one smidgen of our conversation in the last hour as he and I strolled around the neighborhood together after dinner. We have a reoccurring problem every night of Jeremy “not getting his energy out,” or so he calls it, and usually we run him through a series of push ups, sit ups and jumping jacks in the living room. Since the weather was absolutely perfect today (Spring returned!), I asked him to join me on a stroll.
Here is a brief recap of only a few things Jeremy said in the last hour to the best of my knowledge:
“Mom, Demontre is the fastest runner in my class. And Caden. Look, a helicopter! Did you hear that dog? That looks like a real owl. Is it a real owl? It’s like the owl on Harry Potter. I like Harry Potter but I know it’s not real. Magic isn’t real, but what if it WAS real and we could really do magic stuff? I’m a fast runner, see? (he runs to the end of the street) See? I told you I was fast. Are you a fast runner?”
“No, not really…” I say.
“I am. I’m gonna run races like you, but I really want to play football or do karate. My dad’s teaching me karate and so is Jacob, but not my cousin Jacob, my school buddy Jacob. But I wish we had a basement like my cousin Jacob because basements are a lot of fun. I want a house with stairs. See that house? It has stairs. You know how I know that? Because look how tall it is. I know it has stairs. I like our old house in Georgia because it had stairs and a backyard. I miss Georgia. I wasn’t born there though. Look! Bird poop! Why is bird poop white? Dog poop isn’t white. Why does cat poop smell so bad?”
“I don’t know.”
“I know you want a cat and I do too. I got my watch taken away today because I left it in the baff-room, but Mrs. Cortese gave it back to me after school. Did you know that me and Jackson wore the same shirt today? Not my brother Jackson, my school buddy Jackson. He got a shirt at the zoo in Alva-turkey and looks just like this one.”
“Jeremy, your shirt isn’t from the zoo in Albuquerque. It’s from the Great Wolf Lodge.”
“But it looks the same. I love the Great Wolf Lodge. I caught a ball today that almost hit my penis but it didn’t. That would’ve hurt. Mom, can I have snack when we get back? I’m so hungry. Do you hear that dog barking? I bet he’s a big dog. I like that Hank’s a big dog but he doesn’t bite. Jackson bites. Not my school buddy Jackson. My brother Jackson.”
“Yeah, I know,” I answer.
“Can I have a sister?”
“No.”
“You know what? I can drive when I turn 16.”
“Not unless you have a job.”
“But what if I can’t find a job? I won’t have to work if my wife has a job. I’ll just stay home with my kids and teach them stuff like karate and wrestling. Are we almost home? My legs hurt.”
— curtain —
I know how you feel. Spencer told me at 6 years old that he felt he was ready for a driving coach. He told me it would really help me out. He could take Cameron to daycare and he could drive himself to school. This would allow me to sleep later and not be so rushed. While certainly sweet, I told him he had 9 years before he gets a driving coach.
Hey Lori, better not let Jacob hear you say that… Bec’ll strip a gear if he latches onto that idea – he’s already 9 yrs. old. Sure do love Spencer’s generosity!As for such ENGAGING conversation with a wonderful six-yr-oldsuch as w/our dear grandson…well, (besides laughing my head off!!!), I’m thinking a children’s book should be developed showing what’s happening in his head as he *simply strolls* down the street w/his dear mom in tow while telling scores of fascinating tales.I mean reeeally, can’t you vividly picture all the stuff that’s going on!!PLUS, I’m instantly transported to a *certain* other grandson, (at age 0 and on forward!), who always has cheerful, nonstop commentary no matter the audience, during any & all activities, and with an intensity that super salesmen or fervent politicians have perfected… this little guy has natural talent, of course!”And then…” as Owen says, I’m also keenly reminded of our mom (your grandma) who relays endless, very lengthy stories about any & all topics for hours upon hours. But guess what?? These 3 people are not directly blood-related at all, altho they’re in our extended families. What about that?!