This morning I had a cavity filled and I’ve been sick with nervous knots. To get through the 10-minute procedure, I required laughing gas immediately and my iPod blaring Breaking Benjamin to drown out the drill. I do not like going to the dentist, and that’s something I decided in the third grade when I had my first round of cavities filled. It seems like every visit since there’s been a problem.
Based on Hank’s pain levels last night, I decided to give the vet a call to see about upping his meds again. It was a mistake to call from work because after telling me I could give him two doses of narcotics every four hours, she told me that we need to start considering what is in his best interest. In short, and certainly without being rude, she made the point: this isn’t about you. I bawled.
I told her that because I’m so emotional about my sweet dog I need something concrete to look at to help me think logically. So tomorrow I’m taking Hank for x-rays of his neck and shoulder blades. I remember vividly what his x-rays looked like two years ago, so I will be able to see how he’s worsened. Then, I believe I can make a more sensible choice. The emotions will just have to be what they are.
She did ask our intentions, and I told her that Hank would be cremated so I could take him back to Tennessee. He’s a Tennessee coonhound. That’s where he should remain.
And finally Friday. I’m going to the dermatologist to have a pre-melanoma spot removed. The whole debacle of going to the dermatologist in the first place is another post altogether that I’ll tell another day. Briefly, there is a spot on my back that I’ve ignored because I can hardly see it without contorting my body in front of a mirror. I went to the doctor to have it checked out and he decided to do a biopsy right away. While I was in Philadelphia over my birthday weekend, his nurse called to say it was a tumor that had melanoma characteristics and it needed to be excised. It isn’t cancer yet, she said. But…
Yes, yes. I know those “buts.”
The procedure will be done at the clinic and should be completed within an hour. I will have two layers of sutures to keep clean and the top layer will be removed in 10 days. I’m supposed to “take it easy,” which is irritating since I’ve been on a great running streak and, frankly, I don’t really know how to take it easy. On the plus side, so I don’t have to entice my first grader to clean Mommy’s sutures, Chuck rearranged work commitments to be here, and for that, I’m very grateful.
Between the cavity filling today, Hank’s x-rays tomorrow, and the “it’s not cancer yet” spot removal on Friday, my brain is toast. I have much on my plate at work, not to mention the book. Life, in a word, is busy.
I will end on two very good notes: The first is my dear friend Amy’s birthday. It’s today and she’s 30, and while I’m tempted to go into the whole “I miss my friends” dribble, I won’t. I’ll simply wish Amy a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and an I WISH I WAS THERE.
Finally, the weather has been lovely here the last two days. It’s a tiny whiff of fall with 65-degree temperatures and a light breeze. Autumn is coming, people. Here comes my Crock-Pot.