“Non-Specific Bacterial Infection”

You might have seen on Twitter/Facebook that the glands in my neck were swollen to the size of golf balls last weekend. It started last Friday, was terrible to the point of not speaking on Saturday, then by Sunday started to shrink. By the time I went back to work on Tuesday, my glands were like jelly beans. Totally manageable. I had no other symptoms than being tired and sneezing every  now and then.

The jelly beans were a little more noticeable by this Friday, and by yesterday morning, one golf ball was back. By noon, I got the worse case of the chills and proceeded to spike a fever. It was 102.3 by the time the nurse took it at the quick-care clinic.

Thinking I had strep throat, I got swabbed and waited. As I sat in the little room waiting for that positive result, I overheard the doctor tell the nurse outside my door that if the strep was negative I should be checked for mono.

My eyes bugged out because I CANNOT HAVE MONO. My life is not set up for mono, so I immediately panicked. Sure enough, she came back in with a negative strep result and took a vile of blood for the mono test. I was no longer shaking because I was fever-cold. I was terrified.

All I knew of mono is that if you have it, you’ll sleep all day. You might have flu-like symptoms, but generally, you’re too much of a zombie to care. As she took a vile of blood, I feared a positive result and ran through a million scenarios of how I’d make it all work.

Fortunately, the mono test was negative, but we aren’t out of the woods yet. The doctor explained that I could be that one in 20 people who have strep or mono and the test simply comes back negative. Therefore, I’m “non-specific.” Clearly I have some sort of infection, but since my symptoms are few, it’s hard to define. I left with a prescription for an antibiotic and a warning that should I not get better I must return in two weeks for another mono test.

Take notice that I’m blogging at 5:30 a.m. I slept a few hours last night but the body aches were too uncomfortable to bear. I have all of today to get better – and work on the book – in the hopes that I’ll be able to go to work tomorrow. God help me if the boys get sick. But thank God my mother arrives on Tuesday.

The Beginning of Something

There I go again, right? A new blog, a new site to save on your favorites and remember to check. You can do it, Mom. I know you can. In short, I decided it was time to fork over the cash and buy my own little cubby hole on the internet, to have a place that’s securely and solely mine.

The rules are the same. Updates on the boys, photos of their adorable faces, and the usual glimpses into our life here in Texas. Things seem to be ever-changing, and for this new phase of life, I was ready for a new space.

So here you are. Welcome to Jennie Creates.

A Funny.

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
“Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife
merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.”

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back. Amen.”

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.”