A perpetual gray cloud

January is supposed to be an inspirational month, a time when folks have the most amount of resolve to improve upon themselves. We should all be ripe and energized, attacking our day with fervor and hope.

But good gracious almighty – how is that supposed to happen when East Tennessee is under a perpetual gray cloud? This may look like a black and white photo but it’s not. This is what the sky looks like from my back patio, and this is how it’s looked for most of January.

As a result, we’re drowning.

If we had snow to accompany the gloom, we’d embrace it. We’d relish it. We’d go sledding in the front yard and open up all the curtains.

But one dreary day after another does not help anyone’s mood. We are all unmotivated, uninspired, and snippy. None of us can seem to find a kind word. Nobody wants to do anything or go anywhere. Nearly every day in January has been one sludge after another.

Currently, as I type, there’s the tiniest peek of blue sky coming through the clouds. Sunlight may follow, if I don’t jinx it with these words and the forecast is actually true. We’re supposed to have sunlight this afternoon. Real, live, refreshing sunlight, and if we do see the sun today, I’m making everyone sit outside in its glory for a solid hour. My goodness, we need a recharge.

It’s a curious thing – the power the weather can have over me. Not only do the shorter days make me want to sleep later, go to bed earlier, and not exercise, but I find myself having extreme thoughts about quitting my freelance jobs or redecorating entire rooms in the house. I daydream about expensive travel, the sort of trips that only happen once every few, five, or ten years. None of this is helpful since major changes should never be made under a perpetual gray cloud, literally or figuratively, but it’s a pattern I’ve noticed throughout the month. The gray cloud in the sky hovers over my head and holds my brain hostage.

I’ve connected those dots, so no rash decisions will be made on my end. But geez – what if I wasn’t mentally strong enough to recognize it? How many people are out there being ridiculous when all they need is a little sunlight and perspective?

I think the sun is trying, though. I can see it now. Lord help us all, I can see it.

Spring, please hurry.

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